


there rust, and let me die

by estherology



Category: Double Drive
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 04:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19456333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estherology/pseuds/estherology
Summary: Abel leaves Junya alone. It's a mistake.





	there rust, and let me die

**Author's Note:**

> An alternate ending for Ryuu no Kizuna. Very minor spoilers for Borderline and Double Drive ~Ryuu no Kizuna~.

Blood is all over Agatsuma Abel’s hands.

_ No, no, no, this can’t be happening.  _ He scrabbles for something to help staunch the bleeding even though he knows it is far too late. There is too much blood, too much red all over the floor, too much red everywhere.

“Come on, wake up, please, just  _ wake up _ .”

He’s seen this before. In the days following his loved ones’ death, Abel was haunted by visions of their faces.  _ You should have saved us _ , they would say. Then the faces changed, after the first time he killed a man.  _ Murderer _ , the mob of voices cried out, reaching for him to drag him into hell with them. The words filled his mind even in his waking moments, and at times he was so far lost in his grief that waking and nightmare blurred into one another. Both were just as terrible as each other, and it made no difference if his eyes were open or not because it was real, all of it, the pain and the fear and the guilt.

The nightmares had never gone away. Not even when he met Igarashi Junya.

Junya was fire. From his hot-headedness to his hobby of picking the flashiest cars to steal, the man was an uncontrollable force that burned its way into Abel’s reluctant side. He was untamed and reckless, going about life like he had no cares in the world, as if he didn’t have a ruthless yakuza after him and a heavy debt to pay. His smile was not warm, but searing hot such that it burst into Abel’s dark, ugly world like a flashbang – dazzling, unexpected, catching him off guard.

He was beautiful – gorgeous, really, and when Abel’s dreams changed once again and it was Junya’s face he saw instead of his family’s, he knew that he was screwed.

But this – this is even worse than his usual dreams, because this isn’t a dream at all. Abel cradles Junya’s head in his palm, wanting nothing more than to pull Junya into his arms. Crimson seeps into the fabric of Abel’s soiled clothing. Junya’s eyes are still open in shock and pain, and there are black-and-blue bruises forming around his neck.

When Abel had called Junya that Toshiki was waiting for him, he had not thought much of it at all. From what Junya’s father had told him, Toshiki seemed like a mild-mannered guy, if rather big in size, and he hadn’t seemed aggressive when he approached Abel to find Junya. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy one needed to run away from, and much less someone who would be violent. Abel had assumed that the situation would clear quickly once Arisa was returned to her rightful husband, and Junya and himself would be free to continue with what they had – this good partnership that they had – without any trouble. So, he left. He left Junya to meet with Toshiki.  _ Alone _ .

Then he heard the gunshot.

An icy coldness crept up his spine. His ears were ringing with the sound of the  _ bang! _ He ran as fast as he could to where he had left Junya. Arisa and Toshiki were nowhere to be found. And there was Junya. On the ground. A bullet wound in his chest.

Dead.

Abel doesn’t realise that he’s crying until he realises the wetness on his hand is not just blood, but tears as well.  _ I’m sorry _ , he sobs into Junya’s cheek,  _ I should have been there. I’m sorry. _

In the short time that they had spent together, Abel had felt more alive than he had in so long. It was like Junya had lit a spark in him that he thought didn’t exist anymore.

But the warmth of Junya’s skin is quickly fleeting now. Abel holds him just like that and cries, cries, cries, until his eyes are dry and his whole body is numb. It is Junya whose heart had stopped beating but Abel can’t help but feel like his heart has been torn out of his chest.

The weary face of Junya’s father crosses Abel’s mind. He feels a knot forming in his throat. The man had been so kind to him, taking him in and giving him a job even though he knew nothing about him. How will he tell him? That had failed to protect his son? That his son died because of him?

Blankly, he lifts his head from Junya’s body and his eyes land on a sleek, black object, a few feet away from Junya. His breath catches.

The gun.

The gun that killed Junya.

For a second rage hits him at full force. It is the same rage that led him, the first time, to seek vengeance. He wants nothing more than to  _ make that man pay _ – 

But his eyes flicker back down to Junya’s pale face and the anger evaporates. Instead there is just a cold emptiness. A nothingness.

A gaping hole that can never be filled.

Junya was the last thing that made him feel alive. Without him… 

_ I never told you that I love you _ .

Abel strokes Junya’s cheek with his blood-stained fingers. Very, very slowly, he takes a breath and presses his lips to Junya’s forehead. Then, he looks up again.

_ Forgive me, Junya _ .

He reaches for the gun.

**Author's Note:**

> Abel should really know better than to leave Junya alone in any situation, ever. 
> 
> Did anyone get the reference in the title?


End file.
